Monday, August 01, 2011
Itsy bitsy spider: an analysis
Itsy bitsy spider crawled up the spout.
Down came the rain, and washed the spider out.
Out came the sun, and dried up all the rain,
and itsy bitsy spider went up the spout again.
An Analysis.
The Spider symbolises the proletariat and the ongoing struggle against the bourgeoisie.
The Spout is the myth of equality. The Spider continues to doggedly scale it's heights, only to be denied the fruits of his labours.
The Rain is the bourgeoisie, impeding the progress of the Spider, standing between him and his ultimate goal of true freedom and equality. The Rain also embodies man's inhumanity to man.
The Sun is the easing of difficult working and living conditions. It provides false hope for the Spider, prolonging his struggle.
Down came the rain, and washed the spider out.
Out came the sun, and dried up all the rain,
and itsy bitsy spider went up the spout again.
An Analysis.
The Spider symbolises the proletariat and the ongoing struggle against the bourgeoisie.
The Spout is the myth of equality. The Spider continues to doggedly scale it's heights, only to be denied the fruits of his labours.
The Rain is the bourgeoisie, impeding the progress of the Spider, standing between him and his ultimate goal of true freedom and equality. The Rain also embodies man's inhumanity to man.
The Sun is the easing of difficult working and living conditions. It provides false hope for the Spider, prolonging his struggle.
Labels: joke
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Itsy bitsy spider
Itsy bitsy spider crawled up the spout.
Down came the rain, and washed the spider out.
Out came the sun, and dried up all the rain,
and itsy bitsy spider went up the spout again.
An Analysis.
The Spider symbolises the proletariat and the ongoing struggle against the bourgeoisie.
The Spout is the myth of equality. The Spider continues to doggedly scale it's heights, only to be denied the fruits of his labours.
The Rain is the bourgeoisie, impeding the progress of the Spider, standing between him and his ultimate goal of true freedom and equality. The Rain also embodies man's inhumanity to man.
The Sun is the easing of difficult working and living conditions. It provides false hope for the Spider, prolonging his struggle.
Down came the rain, and washed the spider out.
Out came the sun, and dried up all the rain,
and itsy bitsy spider went up the spout again.
An Analysis.
The Spider symbolises the proletariat and the ongoing struggle against the bourgeoisie.
The Spout is the myth of equality. The Spider continues to doggedly scale it's heights, only to be denied the fruits of his labours.
The Rain is the bourgeoisie, impeding the progress of the Spider, standing between him and his ultimate goal of true freedom and equality. The Rain also embodies man's inhumanity to man.
The Sun is the easing of difficult working and living conditions. It provides false hope for the Spider, prolonging his struggle.
Labels: Itsy bitsy spider, joke
Monday, October 12, 2009
In Memory of Common Sense
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, “Common Sense,” who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
- knowing when to come in out of the rain;
- the early bird gets the worm;
- life isn’t always fair; and
- maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student, but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, “Truth” and “Trust,” by his wife, “Discretion,” by his daughter, “Responsibility,” and by his son, “Reason.”
He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers – “I Know My Rights,” “I Want It Now,” “Someone Else Is To Blame,” and “I’m A Victim.”
Not many attended his funeral, because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
- knowing when to come in out of the rain;
- the early bird gets the worm;
- life isn’t always fair; and
- maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don’t spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student, but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, “Truth” and “Trust,” by his wife, “Discretion,” by his daughter, “Responsibility,” and by his son, “Reason.”
He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers – “I Know My Rights,” “I Want It Now,” “Someone Else Is To Blame,” and “I’m A Victim.”
Not many attended his funeral, because so few realized he was gone. If you still remember him, pass this on. If not, join the majority and do nothing.
Labels: joke, thought for today
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Hønsekødsuppe
Hønsekødsuppe til 4 personer
En høne på en og en halv kilo, eller halvanden kilo passer bedre.
En spiseske salt
Cirka to liter vand
To eller tre gulerødder
Et kvart selleri
En persillerod
En porre
Et løg
Fire hele nelliker
Stik nellikerne ind i løget.
Tag bladerne fra porren og brug dem til suppevisk
Skær grøntsager i tern.
Kom alt i gryden, untagen kyllingen.
Vær sikker på at hønen er død, en stor hammer kan hjælpe dig her.
Pluk hønen, og fjern indvoldene.
Kom nu kyllingen i gryden.
Kog i to timer ved svag varme.
Omrøres med jævne mellem rum.
Salt og peber efter ønske.
Server og spis op, uden hyl og skrig!
Avis artikel
En høne på en og en halv kilo, eller halvanden kilo passer bedre.
En spiseske salt
Cirka to liter vand
To eller tre gulerødder
Et kvart selleri
En persillerod
En porre
Et løg
Fire hele nelliker
Stik nellikerne ind i løget.
Tag bladerne fra porren og brug dem til suppevisk
Skær grøntsager i tern.
Kom alt i gryden, untagen kyllingen.
Vær sikker på at hønen er død, en stor hammer kan hjælpe dig her.
Pluk hønen, og fjern indvoldene.
Kom nu kyllingen i gryden.
Kog i to timer ved svag varme.
Omrøres med jævne mellem rum.
Salt og peber efter ønske.
Server og spis op, uden hyl og skrig!
Avis artikel
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Beer
Getting ready for the next step in my bicycle build and what do I spy?
What? Nearly out of beer!
Oh dear, better send out for some more.
What? Nearly out of beer!
Oh dear, better send out for some more.
Labels: building a bicycle, cycling, fun, joke
Friday, December 05, 2008
Jylebryg
Rather busy day today, so I shall only post a picture of the beer being drunk to help lubricate the assembly of this bicycle.
Looks like it is disappearing fast, so more is sent for.
Looks like it is disappearing fast, so more is sent for.
Labels: building a bicycle, cycling, fun, joke
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Thought for today
An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall.
A young man walked up to the bench and sat down. He had spiked hair that was all different colors: green, red, orange, blue and yellow.
The old man just stared.
The young man said. "What's the matter, old timer? Never done anything wild in your life?"
The old man replied, "Got drunk once and had sex with a parrot. I was just wondering if you were my son."
A young man walked up to the bench and sat down. He had spiked hair that was all different colors: green, red, orange, blue and yellow.
The old man just stared.
The young man said. "What's the matter, old timer? Never done anything wild in your life?"
The old man replied, "Got drunk once and had sex with a parrot. I was just wondering if you were my son."
Labels: fun, joke, thought for today
Friday, March 21, 2008
Spice Girls: The Movie
Favourite quote:
"As an artist one must realise that a good kicking is probably the best complement you'll ever receive."
"As an artist one must realise that a good kicking is probably the best complement you'll ever receive."
Labels: bizarre, fun, joke, Pavlovs dog, thought for today
Thursday, January 03, 2008
Thought for today
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Thought for today
Tuesday, December 25, 2007
Scottish DUI Test
Thursday, December 20, 2007
Thought for today
Saturday, December 15, 2007
Think of the children...
Bono, lead singer of the rock band U2, is famous throughout the entertainment industry for being more than just a little self-righteous.
At a recent U2 concert in Glasgow, Scotland, he asked the audience for total quiet.
Then, in the silence, he started to slowly clap his hands, once every few seconds. Holding the audience in total silence, he said into the microphone, 'Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies.'
From the front of the crowd a voice with a broad Scottish accent pierced the quiet ...
'Well, f -- ckin stop doin it then, ya evil bastard!'
At a recent U2 concert in Glasgow, Scotland, he asked the audience for total quiet.
Then, in the silence, he started to slowly clap his hands, once every few seconds. Holding the audience in total silence, he said into the microphone, 'Every time I clap my hands, a child in Africa dies.'
From the front of the crowd a voice with a broad Scottish accent pierced the quiet ...
'Well, f -- ckin stop doin it then, ya evil bastard!'
Labels: bizarre, fun, joke, Pavlovs dog, recycling, thought for today
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Yet another crash
On crossing the road at a pelican controlled zebra crossing, when I had the green man, had the wonderful experience of seeing two cars jumping a red light bearing down on me.
Luckily one of them saw me and swerved, the other tried to push him back into the correct lane.
Result: two bent cars and one shaken, but unstirred, threaded who continued on his way, carrying the new toy.
Wonder: could it be the luminous jacket? I am going to call someone up to drive me home. I don't feel safe on my bicycle tonight.
In fact I don't feel safe going for lunch. They have knives in the canteen...
Luckily one of them saw me and swerved, the other tried to push him back into the correct lane.
Result: two bent cars and one shaken, but unstirred, threaded who continued on his way, carrying the new toy.
Wonder: could it be the luminous jacket? I am going to call someone up to drive me home. I don't feel safe on my bicycle tonight.
In fact I don't feel safe going for lunch. They have knives in the canteen...
Another crash
On returning to my office from collecting my new guitar, just outside the train station, two single decker buses crashed into each other.
Wonder if the drivers were distracted by the loveliness of my Xmas present?
Or by my luminous jacket?
Wonder if the drivers were distracted by the loveliness of my Xmas present?
Or by my luminous jacket?
Family Planning Advice
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Proof that we live in a simulation
I've just hit on another proof that we live in a simulation: when you make something idiot proof, the idiots just get upgraded.
Labels: fun, joke, thought for today
Sunday, November 25, 2007
haiku
Sales
A young guy from Alberta moves to Vancouver and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job.
The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?"
The kid says "Yeah. I was a salesman back in Alberta ."
Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did. His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down. "How many customers bought something from you today?
The kid says "one".
The boss says "Just one? Our sales people average 20 to 30 customers a day. How much was the sale for?"
The kid says "$101,237.65".
The boss says "$101,237.65? What the heck did you sell?"
The kid says, "First, I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fishhook. Then I sold him a larger fishhook.
Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Expedition."
The boss said "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a BOAT and a TRUCK?"
The kid said "No, the guy came in here to buy Tampons for his wife, and I said, "Dude, your weekend's shot. You should go fishing."
The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?"
The kid says "Yeah. I was a salesman back in Alberta ."
Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did. His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down. "How many customers bought something from you today?
The kid says "one".
The boss says "Just one? Our sales people average 20 to 30 customers a day. How much was the sale for?"
The kid says "$101,237.65".
The boss says "$101,237.65? What the heck did you sell?"
The kid says, "First, I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fishhook. Then I sold him a larger fishhook.
Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Expedition."
The boss said "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a BOAT and a TRUCK?"
The kid said "No, the guy came in here to buy Tampons for his wife, and I said, "Dude, your weekend's shot. You should go fishing."
Labels: joke
Puzzling advertisements
They advertise these washing-up powders by saying they can remove bloodstains from your brightest coloured clothes. I reckon if you've bloodstains all over your clothes the laundry isn't your biggest problem.
Labels: bizarre, fun, joke, Pavlovs dog, zen buddhism
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