Thursday, November 29, 2007


Thought for today

Someone once asked Jean Cocteau, "Suppose your house were on fire and you could remove only one thing. What would you take?"

Cocteau considered, then said, "I would take the fire."

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Sunday, November 25, 2007



A crash reduces
Your expensive computer
To a simple stone.




A young guy from Alberta moves to Vancouver and goes to a big "everything under one roof" department store looking for a job.

The Manager says, "Do you have any sales experience?"

The kid says "Yeah. I was a salesman back in Alberta ."

Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job. "You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did. His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it. After the store was locked up, the boss came down. "How many customers bought something from you today?

The kid says "one".

The boss says "Just one? Our sales people average 20 to 30 customers a day. How much was the sale for?"

The kid says "$101,237.65".

The boss says "$101,237.65? What the heck did you sell?"

The kid says, "First, I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him a medium fishhook. Then I sold him a larger fishhook.

Then I sold him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Expedition."

The boss said "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him a BOAT and a TRUCK?"

The kid said "No, the guy came in here to buy Tampons for his wife, and I said, "Dude, your weekend's shot. You should go fishing."



Puzzling advertisements

They advertise these washing-up powders by saying they can remove bloodstains from your brightest coloured clothes. I reckon if you've bloodstains all over your clothes the laundry isn't your biggest problem.

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Wednesday, November 21, 2007


Idiots. Utter, unbelievable, jaw-dropping, unpardonable idiots. It is beyond farce, past comprehension, criminally irresponsible and beneath contempt.

Idiots. Utter, unbelievable, jaw-dropping, unpardonable idiots. It is beyond farce, past comprehension, criminally irresponsible and beneath contempt.

Way to go Alice Miles, personally I was speechless after first hearing that the bunch of incompetents known collectively as the UK government had managed to lose an entire dump of the Child Benefits system, on DVDs, in the mail.

So many questions. Why an entire dump? Why was this on DVDs? Why was this sent through the ordinary mail? How come idiots like this are even allowed through the front gates, never mind given employment in such offices?

The sheer volume of data. Why do they keep records that are no longer extant? Why are records from other systems included?

They are currently claiming that the file is password protected. I would suggest the password, if it actually exists, (because I think that is just a downright lie,) is probably written on a post-it along with the disks. Yet, lets be charitable and look at the evidence: a dump to a CSV file, covering two DVDs, with a password protecting the file. Strongly suggests a spanning zip file. Yeah, like a password is any protection there!

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Monday, November 19, 2007


If you wait too long for the perfect moment...

If you wait too long for the perfect moment,
the perfect moment will pass you by.

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Friday, November 16, 2007


Theory of Everything found

Garrett Lisi appears to have found the "Theory of Everything". Apparently he initially noticed that some descriptions in E8 corresponded with his own work on fundamental particles.

I like it because it is so simple, and predicts 20 new particles.

That it predicts things is just so sweet, means it can be tested.

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Thursday, November 15, 2007


Rear ended an owl

Cycling down the road in the dark when an owl cut diagonally across from behind right to front left and into the woods. Clipped its back-end. Owl shuffled a little in mid-flight and got back to straight and level pretty much straight away. Owl also appeared to look back momentarily, we exchanged a surprised look, and carried on our merry ways.

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Tuesday, November 13, 2007


Danish Election

3.4 million have voted. That's just about everyone who is allowed to vote I guess; 87%.

Winner is the dream team of Anders Rip Rap Rassmusen, Pia K (she's so hot), Bent Bensen (oh, wouldn't he have been teased at school), Nassar Karder (token foreigner). Or is that nightmare...

It would appear Rassmusens grouping has 90 seats as against the oppositions Helle Thorning-Schmidts group with 81. If Rassmussen needs both the Danish People's party of Pia K, and counter side of the see-saw, the New Alliance of Naser Khader, this next parliament should be quite fun to watch: in trying to achieve stability it will be unstable.

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Sunday, November 11, 2007


SlushCup 1 GribskovMTB Tyskerplantagen

My GPS track using the MotionBased Activity Player. OK not all that fast, but I enjoyed myself.

Stunningly bizarre array of prizes were handed out. Lots of Barbie Calendars, My Little Pony collector set, a hairstyle and makeup head (the bemused face of the chap who won that was a picture, wish I'd had a camera), and then lots of assorted ladies jewelery: necklaces, ear-rings, etc. etc.

I won a necklace with beautiful little jeweled heart pendant, from the prize draw, not 'cause I came anywhere other than near the back. This sponsor was Melcher of Copenhagen. It's a really pretty necklace. Maybe I should wear it to work tomorrow.

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Saturday, November 10, 2007


Do or not do.

Do or not do. There is no try.


Friday, November 09, 2007


What's the difference between chattr and chmod?

man chattr > 1; man chmod > 2; diff -u 1 2 | less

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What ah mistake ah to make ah

Instead of a man dressed in a gorilla suit, the 16-year-old boy got a stripper dressed as a policewoman.


Apparently it was a 'booking error'.

What I want to know is: where's the video on YouTube?

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Weather Channel Founder: Global Warming ‘Greatest Scam in History’

By John Coleman founder of the Weather Channel.

It is the greatest scam in history. I am amazed, appalled and highly offended by it. Global Warming; It is a SCAM. Some dastardly scientists with environmental and political motives manipulated long term scientific data to create an allusion of rapid global warming. Other scientists of the same environmental whacko type jumped into the circle to support and broaden the “research” to further enhance the totally slanted, bogus global warming claims. Their friends in government steered huge research grants their way to keep the movement going. Soon they claimed to be a consensus.

Environmental extremists, notable politicians among them, then teamed up with movie, media and other liberal, environmentalist journalists to create this wild “scientific” scenario of the civilization threatening environmental consequences from Global Warming unless we adhere to their radical agenda. Now their ridiculous manipulated science has been accepted as fact and become a cornerstone issue for CNN, CBS, NBC, the Democratic Political Party, the Governor of California, school teachers and, in many cases, well informed but very gullible environmentally conscientious citizens. Only one reporter at ABC has been allowed to counter the Global Warming frenzy with one 15 minute documentary segment.

I do not oppose environmentalism. I do not oppose the political positions of either party. However, Global Warming, i.e. Climate Change, is not about environmentalism or politics. It is not a religion. It is not something you “believe in.” It is science; the science of meteorology. This is my field of life-long expertise. And I am telling you Global Warming is a non-event, a manufactured crisis and a total scam. I say this knowing you probably won’t believe a me, a mere TV weatherman, challenging a Nobel Prize, Academy Award and Emmy Award winning former Vice President of United States. So be it.

I have read dozens of scientific papers. I have talked with numerous scientists. I have studied. I have thought about it. I know I am correct. There is no run away climate change. The impact of humans on climate is not catastrophic. Our planet is not in peril. I am incensed by the incredible media glamour, the politically correct silliness and rude dismissal of counter arguments by the high priest of Global Warming.

In time, a decade or two, the outrageous scam will be obvious. As the temperature rises, polar ice cap melting, coastal flooding and super storm pattern all fail to occur as predicted everyone will come to realize we have been duped. The sky is not falling. And, natural cycles and drifts in climate are as much if not more responsible for any climate changes underway. I strongly believe that the next twenty years are equally as likely to see a cooling trend as they are to see a warming trend.

See John Coleman's full blog story here.

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Wednesday, November 07, 2007


New Orchids

It seems lots of new and old orchids are making their presence known. Mine are throwing up new flowers, and some haven't stopped flowering at all this year and are starting to throw new spikes up. Result!

Young's Helleborine, or Epipactis Youngiana has been discovered on an old coal tip.

Encyclia kingsii found on Grand Cayman, when it is only supposed to live on Little Cayman.

Sikhim, a landlocked state in the north east of India, has many beautiful orchids. Sikkim state government has recently been in talks with the Orchid Growers’ Society of Thailand towards a memorandum of understanding to help develop its floriculture industry. If it increases the biodiversity of the supermarket orchids it must be a good thing, as everyone appears to think Phalænopsis is the only orchid...

Aerides crispum, Satyrium nepalense, Oberonia brunoniana blooms are having a very good year in Avalanchee Reserve Forest in the Nilgris, Tamil Nadu.

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Tuesday, November 06, 2007



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Managing Agile Software Development

A manager at the clients asked me: "How do I manage agile software development?"

I immediately thought what a silly question, but on thinking about it, it struck me that I haven't read anywhere in the voluminous verbiage written about Agile Software Development the simple basic inner concept of it all: managers are out of the loop.

That's what it's all about, no managers.

Why has no one said it this way? They all talk about empowering the team, give the developers the tools they want, everything but the central point: remove the managers to prevent them messing up the stuff they don't understand.

The managers are still there, they just do a different job to those in the heavyweight methodologies, viz:

* increase return on investment by -- making continuous flow of value our focus.
* deliver reliable results by -- engaging customers in frequent interactions and shared ownership.
* expect uncertainty and manage for it through -- iterations, anticipation and adaptation.
* unleash creativity and innovation by -- recognizing that individuals are the ultimate source of value, and creating an environment where they can make a difference.
* boost performance through -- group accountability for results and shared responsibility for team effectiveness.
* improve effectiveness and reliability through -- situationally specific strategies, processes and practices.

So I shuffled that steaming pile of on an email. That'll keep them busy and out of my hair for this iteration at least.

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Monday, November 05, 2007


Bella, horrida bella, et Thybrim multo spumantem sanguine cerno.

Non Simois tibi nec Xanthus nec Dorica castra
defuerint; alius Latio iam partus Achilles,
natus et ipse dea; nec Teucris addita Iuno
usquam aberit, cum tu supplex in rebus egenis
quas gentis Italum aut quas non oraveris urbes!



An unexpected failure has occured

Stumbling around a clients website and up pops a page with curt text in the top left corner: "An unexpected failure has occurred".

It strikes me though, that if someone wrote a page to say that, then they expected this occurrence to happen.

Did they write pages for all the expected failures as well?

Or are the programmers just lazy: writing this one page as they wistfully expect the system to always be working, at all times, and when it doesn't it is a mysterious unexpected event?

Maybe they weren't lazy, and worked really hard to build a working system, but ran out of budget for this page to tell the customers that the back end was going belly up.

One asks: what does it mean to say, "An unexpected failure has occurred", and what will the readers of the page be left to ponder...

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Only when the last tree
Has been cut down
And the last river
Has dried to a trickle
Will man finally realise
That we cannot eat money
And reciting old proverbs
Makes you sound like a twat

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Friday, November 02, 2007


Rip Rap & Rup

A poster I saw a protester carrying:

"Anders Rip Rap Rasmussen".

'And' is Danish for duck. 'Rip Rap & Rup' are Donald Ducks nephews.

Well, it made me laugh. YMMV.

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Can you ... has an amusing new feature: auto suggestions.

Try 'can you' and see what comes up.,

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