Thursday, April 27, 2006


Socrates test of truth

Keep this philosophy in mind the next time you either hear or are about to repeat a rumour.

In ancient Greece (469 - 399 BC), Socrates was widely lauded for his wisdom. One day the great philosopher came upon an acquaintance who ran up to him excitedly and said, "Socrates, do you know what I just heard about one of your students?"

"Wait a moment," Socrates replied. "Before you tell me I'd like you to pass a little test. It's called the Triple Filter Test."

"Triple filter?"

"That's right," Socrates continued. "Before you talk to me about my student let's take a moment to filter what you're going to say. The first filter is Truth. Have you made absolutely sure that what you are about to tell me is true?"

"No," the man said, "actually I just heard about it and. . . "

"All right," said Socrates. "So you don't really know if it's true or not. Now let's try the second filter, the filter of Goodness. Is what you are about to tell me about my student something good?"

"No, on the contrary ..."

"So," Socrates continued, "you want to tell me something bad about him, even though you're not certain it's true?"
The man shrugged, a little embarrassed.

Socrates continued. "You may still pass the test though, because there is a third filter - the filter of Usefulness. Is what you want to tell me about my student going to be useful to me?"

"No, not really ..."

"Well," concluded Socrates, "if what you want to tell me is neither True nor Good nor even Useful, why tell it to me at all?"
The man was defeated and ashamed.

This is the reason Socrates was a great philosopher and held in such high esteem.

It also explains why he never found out that Plato was shagging his wife

Wednesday, April 26, 2006


Cyclists that run red lights ... again

So I'm steaming up Roskildevej hitting all the greens, which is nice. When I notice under the viaduct, just before the hill to the Zoo, a huddle. My Spider-sense tingles warning me the huddle contains Police officers.

Now as it so happens I can also see a young lady cyclist is going to run the red to my green and turn right and hence right into the Police, who are hidden from her view. I can see the fuzz are giving people tickets for running the red light, and there being a good few awaiting their tickets goes to explain the size of the huddle.

Being a gentleman, well as close as I can manage, I wish to help the damsel-that-will-soon-be-in-distress, so ring my bell and wave.

She, being a red-light jumping fool, studiously ignores my signals. Even though I have a green, I signal, and brake to a halt to watch this mornings entertainment unfold: she turns right and plows into the assorted stationary cyclists, milling pedestrians, Police officers and their motorbikes. General mayhem ensues.

The lights cycle, and I carry on. One officer and I exchange a "and that isn't the first time this morning" look.


Tuesday, April 25, 2006


Cyclists that run red lights.

Cyclists that run red lights really annoy me.

I've just battled through the hopeless twats, then get caught by a red light. If the gits had kept to one side or t'other of the cycle path instead of wandering about it like a swarm of demented bumblebees I would have gone through whilst it was still on green. Now I'm stopped by the red and the twats sail through instead of stopping, so I have to battle through them all over again, to be caught, again, by the next set of lights.

Tonight one of the fsckers had this dumb "What is that odd noise?" look on his face as he was narrowly missed by an Ambulance, lights and horns blaring... Clue: take those fscking headphones off, look where you're going and stop for red lights!

When one of the stoopid dull-eyed fsckers gets mown down whilst running a red light I have to admit I find it rather satisfying, which is what really annoys me.




Copenhagen Cyclists

Contrary to popular opinion, although there are lots of cycle paths in Copenhagen, not many Copenhageners can actually ride a bicycle. Well, let me clarify, there are lots of people who can sit on a moving cycle going in a straight line downhill, but come a bend or, wobetide, a corner and they're doing this strange one foot on the ground hopping motion to get around it.

Now, I have to admit, I have ridden bicycles from a very young age and when younger was in a cycling club and on a team for racing, and still today, in my dotage, can keep up a respectable 40 kph for several hours. I commute on my bicycle, a round trip in excess of 50 km. But when I reach Copenhagen I have to slow right right down to a maximum of around 25 kph, it being, well, just too damned dangerous to go any faster due to the other "cyclists". Although I do shudder at labelling them so.

Don't get me wrong, there are many Danes who can ride a bike, and one of my former team mates lives on the island of Fyn. Riding in the countryside is a pleasure. It's the cyclists in the cities. He tells me the cyclists in Odense are far worse. Ouch!

Anyways, today's idiot was shouting at me because a lorry was blocking the cycle-path. It was blocking the cycle-path yesterday as well and he nearly ran into it. Which made me laugh out loud. As mentioned there is more to cycling than just rolling downhill in a straight line, and I can normally contain myself when people make mistakes, but inability to see a lorry, for crying out loud: Walk! You'll make the roads safer. Hmm, but maybe the problem is then just transferred to the pavements...

So today, I think maybe he'd got out of bed the wrong side and seeing me again put him right over the edge, so he just had to shout. So, he starts shouting away, and there was this bird singing, which just disturbed my reverie so much I just had to respond: "Hey, keep it down you idiot". Bad move! He took to following me, gibbering about "traffic rules", and trying to cause an accident. Rule #1 in the English Highway code is: "Don't drive like a twat". I am reliably informed that in Denmark, Rule #1 is: "Darwin was right". I won't pass a judgement on which rule is right or wrong, different strokes for different folks an'all that, but will gently point you, dear reader, at the traffic statistics for death, serious injury and the truly bizarre accidents I witness for a country that thinks 5 cars waiting at the lights is a traffic jam.

I digress. I tried to avoid by going slower, hanging back, but that just enraged him further, and now he was starting to become a hazard for the cyclists behind catching up. Luckily I turned off to the right on a filtered green about 4 sets of lights further on. As I wasn't watching him but a street cleaner around the corner, I would like to think he may have tried to run the red light, (for straight on,) and become a mascot for a truck, there is no way he could have made that turn I did, (not without hopping,) but somehow I lost him. I found myself wondering if he completely lost it and imploded at the junction, but I doubt it and he'll be back tomorrow. Ho hum.


Monday, April 24, 2006


Monday morning drivers ... and cyclists

First up this morning, I am cycling through a tunnel under the railway, it is quite narrow so it has signs saying my direction, as it so happens, has right of way. Well, Mr White Van Man is having none of that, not for him the inconveniences of traffic rules, but where am I to go? He is forced to stop or have me as a new mascot. Then whilst holding the top of his steering wheel with his two smallest fingers, the other two and thumb balancing a can of Carlsberg beer on the rim (yes, do remember this is first thing on a Monday morning) he gives me the finger with his free hand. Which was nice...

A little further on I am glad to have been slowed as I watch a JCB being driven badly onto a low loader. How badly driven? Well, as I approached I saw and heard it fall off the edge and onto its side. JCB is now blocking the entire road. Once I see no one is hurt, I sit at the side of the road having a good laugh, there but for the grace of god and all that: if it weren't for Mr White Van Man I might have been right underneath it when it went...


Wednesday, April 19, 2006


Why does this happen?

While sitting, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles. Now while doing this draw the number six in the air with your right hand. Your foot will change direction and there is nothing you can do about it.

Saturday, April 15, 2006


Save the Earth!

It's the only planet with chocolate...

Thursday, April 13, 2006


Superb Rant

I have had a superb rant pointed out to me. I particularly liked his use of the word mons. Most foul mouthed rants, are, well, just foul mouthed, but by using mons the whole piece is lifted in some way difficult to describe.

This page is powered by Blogger. Isn't yours?

Subscribe to Posts [Atom]