Sunday, August 26, 2007
The nuts were out in force yesterday!
Had a few errands to run yesterday and ended up feeling I'd have much rather stayed in bed due to all the nuts on the road.
First trip was to BMW Service in Rødovre, to buy a new battery for a renovation project. It was recommended to me by a motorcyclist I chatted to some time ago who just happened to be riding the same type of motorcycle as the project, and was filling up at a petrol station I was passing, so thought I'd ask where he gets the parts. Anyways the shop happened to be shut, but I do know where it is now. Can nip in on the way to and fro'. First nut of the day I met was driving at speed the wrong way up a one way street on the way there. Didn't think it much out of the ordinary, it being Denmark after all: they appear to have a relaxed attitude to such things. Just pull over, smile, but try not to make too much eye contact.
Next stop was the Road Bike Shop where I heard they were having a sale. Thought I might pick up a few bargains. On the way I had to make a left turn across the traffic at a Y junction. The road splits for the Y and both parts get traffic lights. Whilst waiting at the lights got some loon peeping their horn at me. The light for straight on was green so maybe they thought my red light for going across the oncoming traffic should be ignored? Anyways, they pulled sharply into the right hand lane, cutting up the fast lane traffic going straight on. Lots of blaring horns and the light there was red now, and mine went to green. I didn't look back. Maybe they like standing at red lights peeping their horn. It takes all sorts I guess.
Just after this junction the road narrows very sharply to single lane, widens again to four lanes for a cross roads, narrows again to one. As I was in the inside lane and I knew I'd eventually be wanting a left turn, and I knew this turn would be at a load of road works, just thought I'd hang back and let everyone in the fast lane pass me. Which would have worked a charm but for the idiots who ran the red lights from the other direction. So there I am trying to make a left turn at some roadworks, but could not as the gap was removed by said red-light jumping fools, and then the junction itself gets blocked by one of them thoughtless types parking their car in it, only allowing one car in or out at a time.
A while later I manage to get into the road, and 10 meters down it next idiot I meet shoots out of a petrol station car park straight across the road and nearly crashes into a car parked opposite. I emergency stop and start laughing at the bizarreness of the driving, guess his foot slipped off the clutch or something. Big mistake, never laugh at a Danes inability to drive. You can insult their mother, but never obviously question their driving ability. So he's now having a fit. Spends so much time mucking about that he can't reverse as some other fool, also lacking situational awareness, blocks that path. Someone has come up behind me, even though I tried reversing they were minded to notice the reversing lights and roll up to almost touching bumpers to stop me. Another comes from the opposite direction and blocks that path. Impasse. Turns out car from the opposite direction wants some petrol so they drive up onto the pavement and squeeze through the tightest gap between a wall and the parked cars and into the petrol station. (I've been thinking on this, and I still can't figure out how they did that maneuver without hitting anything.) First car realises his only way out is up the road where the last car came from, which is exactly the opposite direction he wants to go, but off he goes nevertheless.
Whilst at the Road Bike Shop bumped into Janus and separately another friend, Aske, who were also bargain hunting. Janus is looking for a new fixie, some chummy having stole his the other day.
I got myself a new spinning set-up for the winter and some spare tubes for my Bugatti road bike which I intend to use on the trainer. They also had some Primal Wear shirts and picked one out that looked nice, and was one of the only two that was my size. A new PC68 chain for my 29'er. The current one isn't all that old, but I've taken to waxing my chains and the one on doesn't have a handy link, also I just don't like it. There again, I might just keep it as a spare for my commuter bike for swapping due to mid-week downpours and don't have the time for all the messing about. And there again, again, maybe I just can't make my mind up, but it was shiny and I wanted it.
From there I set off to Heino Cykler to hopefully pick up my race bike that I'm having modified. At Damhus Sø the road narrows from two to one lane. The nut I met here seemed to be incapable of overtaking or pulling in so as not to look like he was going to overtake right on the pinch point. Of course as soon as I tried to make his mind up for him he decided to floor it and overtake in the pinch point. I drive a car that says I don't care how fast you think you are, I am faster, at stopping. So no doubt he got his kicks thinking he'd upset someone and I got to feel good about my driving skill, and another road-nut to write abuse about on my blog.
At Heino Cykler, Steen was working on a Saturday, which is unusual. The work on my race bike wasn't finished. They'd fixed my rear caliper, which kept jamming on, but some communication problem with the DT Swiss distributors over bushings meant the new rear shock and lockout hadn't been delivered. Bought some new shorts instead, and agreed to pick the bike up when he 'phoned me.
Decided that as I was not having the best of days would give Rødovre Center a miss and go somewhere quieter and further from the city.
So off to City 2, following the navigators instructions. Knew it would take me by the motorway, considering motorways are safer, thought that I'd maybe gain a little respite from the lunatics. Error!
On the motorway caught up with some blue wreck that decided to change lanes just as the motorway splits at Albertslund. This makes most people think they want to take the left fork, so some drivers start to set up to overtake on the inside as they're taking the right fork. Me, having met more than my fair share of lunatics so far today know they are a prat and are wanting the fast lane on the right fork, yet want to go at a speed significantly below the posted speed limit just to annoy people and hopefully die in a horrific high speed fireball. I lay back and watch the sudden look of horror in the eyes of several drivers as they see the attempted suicide and check their rear view mirrors as they go into avoiding maneuvers. One 7 series BMW ended up shooting across three lanes to avoid a shunt and took the left fork. Bet he was well annoyed.
At City 2 they're doing this 'Extreme Makeover' thing and so they're lots of road works. My favourite car park has a new tarmac sealant layer on it which along with the light rainfall has encouraged the local boy racers to come and use it as a skid pad. So on entry was met by a hand painted purple Renault Megane hot-hatchback with bean can exhausts spinning at high speed, backwards, towards a line of parked JCBs. "Figures!" I think.
As I gingerly made my way to some safe area to park a security guy appeared and the boy racer disappeared in a cloud of tire smoke. I could still hear him going as I entered the shopping centre. A seriously loud exhaust there and I think his throttle had only two positions - fully on pressed through the floor or ignition off.
In Kvickly, first up a trolley took my coin but would not unlock. An assistant came with a pair of pliers, which I noticed are helpfully left laying in a nearby closet. I shall have to remember where they keep them for future repeats of such an episode.
Later in the chilled foods section I was assaulted by a shopper ramming his trolley into me which cut my hand. He made no attempt at an apology and cowardly ran off when he saw my displeasure.
First trip was to BMW Service in Rødovre, to buy a new battery for a renovation project. It was recommended to me by a motorcyclist I chatted to some time ago who just happened to be riding the same type of motorcycle as the project, and was filling up at a petrol station I was passing, so thought I'd ask where he gets the parts. Anyways the shop happened to be shut, but I do know where it is now. Can nip in on the way to and fro'. First nut of the day I met was driving at speed the wrong way up a one way street on the way there. Didn't think it much out of the ordinary, it being Denmark after all: they appear to have a relaxed attitude to such things. Just pull over, smile, but try not to make too much eye contact.
Next stop was the Road Bike Shop where I heard they were having a sale. Thought I might pick up a few bargains. On the way I had to make a left turn across the traffic at a Y junction. The road splits for the Y and both parts get traffic lights. Whilst waiting at the lights got some loon peeping their horn at me. The light for straight on was green so maybe they thought my red light for going across the oncoming traffic should be ignored? Anyways, they pulled sharply into the right hand lane, cutting up the fast lane traffic going straight on. Lots of blaring horns and the light there was red now, and mine went to green. I didn't look back. Maybe they like standing at red lights peeping their horn. It takes all sorts I guess.
Just after this junction the road narrows very sharply to single lane, widens again to four lanes for a cross roads, narrows again to one. As I was in the inside lane and I knew I'd eventually be wanting a left turn, and I knew this turn would be at a load of road works, just thought I'd hang back and let everyone in the fast lane pass me. Which would have worked a charm but for the idiots who ran the red lights from the other direction. So there I am trying to make a left turn at some roadworks, but could not as the gap was removed by said red-light jumping fools, and then the junction itself gets blocked by one of them thoughtless types parking their car in it, only allowing one car in or out at a time.
A while later I manage to get into the road, and 10 meters down it next idiot I meet shoots out of a petrol station car park straight across the road and nearly crashes into a car parked opposite. I emergency stop and start laughing at the bizarreness of the driving, guess his foot slipped off the clutch or something. Big mistake, never laugh at a Danes inability to drive. You can insult their mother, but never obviously question their driving ability. So he's now having a fit. Spends so much time mucking about that he can't reverse as some other fool, also lacking situational awareness, blocks that path. Someone has come up behind me, even though I tried reversing they were minded to notice the reversing lights and roll up to almost touching bumpers to stop me. Another comes from the opposite direction and blocks that path. Impasse. Turns out car from the opposite direction wants some petrol so they drive up onto the pavement and squeeze through the tightest gap between a wall and the parked cars and into the petrol station. (I've been thinking on this, and I still can't figure out how they did that maneuver without hitting anything.) First car realises his only way out is up the road where the last car came from, which is exactly the opposite direction he wants to go, but off he goes nevertheless.
Whilst at the Road Bike Shop bumped into Janus and separately another friend, Aske, who were also bargain hunting. Janus is looking for a new fixie, some chummy having stole his the other day.
I got myself a new spinning set-up for the winter and some spare tubes for my Bugatti road bike which I intend to use on the trainer. They also had some Primal Wear shirts and picked one out that looked nice, and was one of the only two that was my size. A new PC68 chain for my 29'er. The current one isn't all that old, but I've taken to waxing my chains and the one on doesn't have a handy link, also I just don't like it. There again, I might just keep it as a spare for my commuter bike for swapping due to mid-week downpours and don't have the time for all the messing about. And there again, again, maybe I just can't make my mind up, but it was shiny and I wanted it.
From there I set off to Heino Cykler to hopefully pick up my race bike that I'm having modified. At Damhus Sø the road narrows from two to one lane. The nut I met here seemed to be incapable of overtaking or pulling in so as not to look like he was going to overtake right on the pinch point. Of course as soon as I tried to make his mind up for him he decided to floor it and overtake in the pinch point. I drive a car that says I don't care how fast you think you are, I am faster, at stopping. So no doubt he got his kicks thinking he'd upset someone and I got to feel good about my driving skill, and another road-nut to write abuse about on my blog.
At Heino Cykler, Steen was working on a Saturday, which is unusual. The work on my race bike wasn't finished. They'd fixed my rear caliper, which kept jamming on, but some communication problem with the DT Swiss distributors over bushings meant the new rear shock and lockout hadn't been delivered. Bought some new shorts instead, and agreed to pick the bike up when he 'phoned me.
Decided that as I was not having the best of days would give Rødovre Center a miss and go somewhere quieter and further from the city.
So off to City 2, following the navigators instructions. Knew it would take me by the motorway, considering motorways are safer, thought that I'd maybe gain a little respite from the lunatics. Error!
On the motorway caught up with some blue wreck that decided to change lanes just as the motorway splits at Albertslund. This makes most people think they want to take the left fork, so some drivers start to set up to overtake on the inside as they're taking the right fork. Me, having met more than my fair share of lunatics so far today know they are a prat and are wanting the fast lane on the right fork, yet want to go at a speed significantly below the posted speed limit just to annoy people and hopefully die in a horrific high speed fireball. I lay back and watch the sudden look of horror in the eyes of several drivers as they see the attempted suicide and check their rear view mirrors as they go into avoiding maneuvers. One 7 series BMW ended up shooting across three lanes to avoid a shunt and took the left fork. Bet he was well annoyed.
At City 2 they're doing this 'Extreme Makeover' thing and so they're lots of road works. My favourite car park has a new tarmac sealant layer on it which along with the light rainfall has encouraged the local boy racers to come and use it as a skid pad. So on entry was met by a hand painted purple Renault Megane hot-hatchback with bean can exhausts spinning at high speed, backwards, towards a line of parked JCBs. "Figures!" I think.
As I gingerly made my way to some safe area to park a security guy appeared and the boy racer disappeared in a cloud of tire smoke. I could still hear him going as I entered the shopping centre. A seriously loud exhaust there and I think his throttle had only two positions - fully on pressed through the floor or ignition off.
In Kvickly, first up a trolley took my coin but would not unlock. An assistant came with a pair of pliers, which I noticed are helpfully left laying in a nearby closet. I shall have to remember where they keep them for future repeats of such an episode.
Later in the chilled foods section I was assaulted by a shopper ramming his trolley into me which cut my hand. He made no attempt at an apology and cowardly ran off when he saw my displeasure.
Labels: bizarre, cycling, Pavlovs dog, purple
# posted by threaded @ 8/26/2007 08:55:00 am 
Subscribe to Posts [Atom]
